


i just want you for my own

by deepbutdazzlingdarkness



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: 2018-2019 Season, Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Christmas, Clothed Sex, Exes, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Girl!Auston, Mirror Sex, New Year's Eve, Pining, Rule 63, Sharing Clothes, Sharing a Bed, Toronto Maple Leafs, Women in the NHL
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-09-26 20:14:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17148383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deepbutdazzlingdarkness/pseuds/deepbutdazzlingdarkness
Summary: When Auston convinces Freddie, her ex...something to come home with her for Christmas and pretend to be her boyfriend, she gets much more than she expected.





	i just want you for my own

**Author's Note:**

  * For [adeleblaircassiedanser](https://archiveofourown.org/users/adeleblaircassiedanser/gifts).



> Well this turned into much more than I expected! I loved writing this for you sfm (though I'm sorry I couldn't come up with any Connor/PK ideas) and I hope you enjoy it :D
> 
> Regarding the timeline in this, I took a few liberties (namely I switched the Red Wings game to a morning one and alas I couldn't include the Mom's Trip) but otherwise this is mostly based on the RL schedule/events.
> 
> Title is from "All I Want For Christmas" obvs, and thank you sooo much to trinity_clare for talking things through with me when I got stuck and betaing for me!

“So,” Auston says, sidling up to Freddie after practice once most of the locker room has cleared out. “What are you doing for Christmas?”

Freddie pauses while packing his gear up and gives her a weird look, probably because it’s the first week of December and Auston hasn’t had a conversation with him about anything other than hockey in months, but he answers anyway. “Not sure, my family was gonna come visit but my dad’s super busy with work so they’re gonna hold off for now. Why do you ask?”

“Well uh, it’s kind of a funny story, but my parents may like…think we’re dating?”

“What?” Freddie exclaims, his head shooting up. “You _told_ them?” 

“Of fucking course I didn’t tell them,” Auston snaps, meeting his eyes for the first time in this conversation. “When I was home for Thanksgiving, Alex said something that gave them the wrong impression, and I don’t know, you know how much my mom and dad like you, I think they made their minds up about what they think is going on before I even had a chance to correct them.” 

Granted, that’s not the full truth, Auston definitely could have protested more, but honestly, what would she have even said? That sure, she and Freddie were sleeping together on and off all last season, but he’s not her “boyfriend” because right when she thought they might finally get together for real, he fucking _dumped_ her, the day after they got eliminated from the playoffs? Not exactly wholesome dinner conversation.

“Besides, it’s not like there’s not anything _to_ say, right?” Auston continues pointedly. 

“Of course, you’re right. What does this have to do with Christmas though?” Freddie asks, and Auston is grateful to him for getting the conversation back on track. 

“Right, so they told me I should invite you to come home with me for Christmas this year, and I know you’re obviously gonna say no, but I thought maybe—“

“You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend?” Freddie huffs out a laugh and Auston can’t help but get her hackles up. “Wouldn’t it be easier to just tell them the truth?”

“You know how they are, once they get an idea in their head they won’t let it go. And like, we are still friends supposedly, right? I mean that’s what you said when you broke up with me.” Auston doesn’t recall much about that conversation to be honest, she tried to block it out even as it was happening, and then Willie took her out to get drunk and that helped with the rest of it. She knows Freddie was weirdly insistent on that front though, clearly unaware of how much the idea sucked in Auston’s mind. 

Freddie looks appropriately chastised at the reminder, especially given how distant they’ve been lately (even though it’s entirely because of Auston) and she pushes on. “So I figured we can just do this for a few days, get them off my back, and then I can I’ll tell them eventually that we broke up and they’ll have to get over it.”

“I’m still not sure—“

“Just think about it, okay?” Auston cuts him off with a smile, trying not to grit her teeth too much. “Who knows, it could even be fun. At the very least it’s gotta be better than spending Christmas alone in your cold apartment, right?”

“A tempting offer,” Freddie says, returning her smile. “I’ll let you know.”

—

To Auston’s surprise, Freddie shows up the next day and agrees. She doesn’t know what made him decide to take her offer, but she’s not gonna question it. Despite how mad she was at him all summer, Auston has missed Freddie and she’s looking forward to spending the holiday with him, even under false pretenses.

The next month flies by faster than Auston could imagine, between adjusting to coming back from her injury and Willie finally signing. Before she knows it, they’re playing (and narrowly winning) their Christmas Eve Eve game against the Red Wings and then it’s winter break, and Auston doesn’t realize they haven't even had any time to prep for this whole charade until Freddie brings it up on their flight to Arizona.

“So,” Freddie asks once they’re settled in their seats. “What exactly is the game plan here?”

Part of Auston was deliberately not thinking about it, in large part because it’s just hard to separate what she _wants_ to happen from what Freddie might consider necessary and/or acceptable in the course of things. Auston’s hoping this can be a step in the right direction towards them becoming friends again, but she doesn’t want to push things past his comfort level, so at the very least they need to establish each other’s boundaries.

“Well first of all, let me guess, you’re not a huge fan of PDA?” Freddie gives Auston a look and she laughs. “Figures,” Auston says, hoping she doesn’t sound too bitter. “I suppose I’ll live,” she says lightly, with a faux put-upon sigh, and this time Freddie is the one who laughs.

“So I’ll keep my hands away from sensitive areas, but what about stuff like kissing and hand-holding? Nothing too extreme but we do have to act _somewhat_ comfortable around each other if we want people to believe this.”

“Oh no, kissing you, what a hardship,” Freddie says with a mostly straight face, but his lips are twitching so Auston can tell he’s not serious. “I guess I can handle that for a few days. What did you tell them about how we got together anyway?

“I didn’t.” Auston rolls her eyes. “I immediately tried to change the subject and hoped they would forget by the time I left, but it didn’t work. I figure we can just wing it if they ask? It shouldn’t be too hard.” Freddie looks incredulous but Auston figures that if they have to, they can basically just give a sanitized version of the truth. The closer to the truth, the easier it will be once they “break up”. 

“It’s just a few days, we’ll be fine,” Auston reassures him. “Now I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for a drink,” she decides and flags a flight attendant down.

—

Thanks to it being an early game, Auston was able to book herself and Freddie a flight for the same day to help maximize their vacation length. Even with the time difference though, they land around 11 PM and it’s closer to midnight by the time they get home, so Auston isn’t surprised when they pull up and most of the lights are off. It’s a relief though, as she blocked a shot during the last period, and ended up with a huge bruise on her thigh to show for it. All she wants to do is ice it and sleep, not be interrogated about their relationship at this time of night. 

Unfortunately Auston isn’t quite lucky enough to avoid the subject completely. As soon as she opens the door, Alex jumps up off the couch and bounds over to hug Auston, like they didn’t just see each other a month ago.

“It’s great to see you again,” Alex says as she turns to give Freddie a hug next. “Especially under these circumstances.” Alex winks at Auston behind Freddie’s back and Auston just glares at her. She loves her sister, but Auston is not entirely in the mood to deal with her at this time of night, even if Alex is the only person besides Freddie who knows that they’re faking it. (Well besides Willie, but she tells Willie everything so he doesn’t count.)

Auston wasn’t exactly intending on telling _anyone_ , but Alex is one of the few people she’d confided in about her and Freddie last season, which is why she'd jumped to the conclusion that she did and brought the rest of the family into it. Alex had seemed incredulous when Auston told her the plan, but felt guilty enough to go along with it. Apparently not guilty enough to not give Auston shit though, despite Auston also agreeing to bribe her with some especially nice Christmas gifts this year.

Auston barely even processes Alex’s small talk, she’s too tired, but she tunes back in just in time for, “Mom figured you guys were probably gonna want to go straight to bed as soon as you get here, so Auston, your room is already made up for the two of you.” Which, _what_? Auston never thought sharing a bed would be part of the plan, what the fuck?

The next thing Auston hears is “Need some help with your bags?” and she shakes herself out of it.

“Nah, I’ve got it,” Freddie says, picking up both Auston’s huge suitcase (because she needed room for all of her presents, of course) and his carry-on with ease.

“Well, good night, then. Just keep it down,” Alex says, wrinkling her nose. “You know I’m right next door to you.”

“Oh my god, shut _up_ ,” Auston says, blushing even as she shoulders past Alex, leading Freddie to the stairs.

“You couldn’t have warned me about this?” Freddie hisses under his breath as they make their way up to Auston’s old room. 

“How was I supposed to know?” Auston snaps back as she closes the door behind them. Taking a breath to calm herself, she continues, ”I’ve never brought anyone home before, I assumed they’d make you stay in the guest room or something.”

“It’s fine, I guess I can just sleep on the floor,” Freddie says, looking down at the carpet.

“Don’t be stupid, I’m not letting you fuck your back up when the bed is more than big enough for both of us,” Auston says. One of the upsides of being as tall as she is is that she’s had a queen-sized bed since she was 13. “And I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted, don’t you want to just sleep?”

“I’m not sure…”

“C’mon, I insist,” Auston says, suddenly determined to make him agree to it. Freddie laughs and rolls his eyes and she knows she’s got him.

If she had known they were going to be sharing a bed, Auston would’ve brought some cute pajamas, but as it is, she just grabs a tank top and a pair of leggings out of her bag and goes into the bathroom to change and get ready for bed.

“Oh,” Auston says when she steps out of the bathroom and the first thing she sees is Freddie lying on her bed, clad only in pajama bottoms. Obviously she sees him half-naked (and more than that) all the time, but it’s never been in a domestic situation like this. Even back when they were hooking up, Freddie never spent the night, no matter how much Auston hinted that she would be okay with it. (Which in retrospect, was a pretty obvious sign he _wasn’t_ , but at the time she just assumed he needed his personal space and would come around eventually.)

“What?” Freddie asks softly, shaking Auston out of her thought spiral. “Am I on the wrong side of the bed? I can move.”

“Huh? Oh no, that’s fine,” Auston says, glad he has his mind on more practical matters and doesn’t realize she’s mostly distracted by his bare chest. “I’m just surprised, I would’ve thought you’d be the sleeping fully clothed type.”

“Shows how much you know,” Freddie says, smirking up at Auston as she crosses the room. “Normally I sleep naked, this is just for your sake.” Auston maybe trips crawling into bed because…what? That’s not an image she needs in her head right before she goes to sleep next to him, thank you very much.

“Wait, are you fucking with me?” Auston asks a moment later when Freddie laughs at whatever the expression is on her face and the thought occurs to her. That sounds more like the Freddie she knows.

“Maybe, maybe not,” Freddie says, laughing again and Auston hits him in the (bare, warm, huge) arm. She turns the lamp off and settles down on her side of the bed to sleep, trying to keep her mind off of memories of him even more naked (something that’s hard enough on a normal night when she goes to bed alone).

—

The next morning, Auston drifts back into consciousness slowly, remembering bits and pieces of the night before as she wakes up. She realizes quickly—no it wasn’t a dream, Freddie really is in her bed half-naked and much closer to her than he was when they fell asleep very much on their own sides of it. One of Freddie’s massive hands is on her hip, fingers underneath the hem of her shirt, and Auston shivers at the touch. She shifts back accidentally and wow that’s…his cock and he’s definitely hard against her ass. She can feel all of him through the thin material of their pajama bottoms and she wants to lean into his touch but imagining how awkward it would be if he wakes up gives her the strength to resist. 

Auston slips out of bed and escapes downstairs, heading straight for the coffee pot. Her dad is the only one up this early so she pours herself a cup and sits down at the table next to him. He pushes his plate of toast over and she takes a piece, enjoying the companionable silence until the rest of the house wakes up.

“Auston!” Bre says in excitement when she comes in a little while later, immediately coming over to give Auston a hug. “Where’s your boyyyfriend?” Bre asks in a sing-sing voice.

“Shut up,” Auston mumbles into her cup of coffee. She’s on her second cup but it is still too early in the morning to deal with this without more caffeine.

“I just mean, you say he exists but we’ve never met him?”

“Come on,” Auston says, rolling her eyes. “You obviously know Freddie exists, considering he plays hockey? For the Toronto Maple Leafs? And why are you acting like I’ve never had a boyfriend before anyway? 

“I mean, none that you’ve brought home for Christmas before! I just want to make sure he’s good enough for my big sister,” Bre concludes, and that makes Auston pause. Man, she’s missed her family.

“Well, you don't need to worry,” Auston says, smiling up at her. “But hey now, I’m supposed to be the one looking out for you. Is there anyone I should keep my eye on?”

Bre blushes and Auston figures there’s something there but at that moment Freddie walks into the kitchen, mid-conversation with her mom and she decides to hold off.

Freddie looks over to smile at Auston, and she almost wants to blush herself, though thankfully for her sake, Freddie put a shirt on before he came downstairs. Auston isn’t as prepared as she thought she’d be to see him in a homey setting like this though, and she’s especially not ready to have him looking at her like that again.

“Good morning, mija, I was just telling Freddie some things you could do today if you don’t have plans,” Ema explains, coming over to give Auston a kiss on the forehead.

“I didn’t have much in mind,” Auston admits. “That’s part of the fun of vacation these days, honestly.”

“You should come with us to the outdoor ice rink,” Bre suggests, excited at the thought.

“I didn’t pack my skates, but that sounds fun to me if you’re down?” Freddie says, looking to Auston for the heads up.

—

After breakfast, Auston heads back upstairs to get dressed and is rummaging through her suitcase when Freddie comes in. “I could’ve sworn I packed a better jacket but I can’t…”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have filled up so much of your suitcase with presents,” Freddie laughs. 

“Excuse you, I take my title as the world’s best gift-giver very seriously,” Auston says haughtily. “Just for that I’m returning the present I got for you.”

“I’m sorry,” Freddie says, but she can still hear the amusement in his voice. “Are you actually cold though?” he asks incredulously. “It’s like 65° outside.”

“Like you’re one to talk Mr. Brought-a-giant-sweater-with-him-to-the- _Bahamas_ ,” Auston shoots back, continuing to dig through her bag.

“That’s different, you never know when there’s gonna be air conditioning,” Freddie protests and Auston just laughs, throwing a pair of socks at his face that he catches easily.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m still gonna make fun of you forever for it.”

“Are you sure about that?” Auston looks up and is surprised to see Freddie holding that exact sweater. 

“Oh my god I love you,” Auston exclaims, cringing as soon as the words come out of her mouth. “I mean, thanks,” she says a moment later, smiling to herself as she puts the sweater on, wrapping it around herself and inhaling the spicy scent of his cologne.

“You’re welcome,” Freddie says, a wry twist of his lips the only sign that she said anything out of the ordinary.

“Well I’ll…meet you downstairs?” Auston says after a moment, jerking her thumb towards the door and making her escape. God, she needs to get it together.

—

Bre volunteers to drive, still at the age where having her driver’s license is a novelty, and Auston stuffs herself into the backseat behind her, figuring it’s probably better to let Freddie have the extra leg room. Auston watches the familiar landscape pass by with a pang of nostalgia. It’s not a long drive, traffic nowhere near as bad as what she’s used to in Toronto, but she can’t stop herself from stealing glances at Freddie as well. He’s following along closely with Bre’s animated discussion of some class trip she went on, and when they accidentally make eye contact, Freddie smiles and Auston immediately looks away, embarrassed to be caught staring.

The three of them plus Alex pile out of the car and Bre skips ahead, leading the way to the entrance. Auston is about to pay for everyone’s admission but Freddie insists on taking care of it and she doesn’t argue.

While Auston is certainly much more comfortable in hockey skates than figure skates, she can manage the latter well enough. Freddie…not so much apparently, and Auston laughs her ass off the third time he falls down, foiled by the toe pick on his rental skates.

“C’mon, I’ll hold your hand,” Auston says through her giggles, reaching out to try and help him up, only to have Freddie grab on to her hand and pull her down on top of him. Auston starts to protest that she was just trying to help before she realizes the position they’re in and freezes, the line of their bodies pressed together. She can feel the heat of Freddie’s body through the multiple layers between them and she doesn’t want to move like, ever. 

When Auston hears “get a room” from behind her though, she scrambles up, glaring at Alex and praying the wind is enough to mask the real reason her cheeks are so red. 

Auston turns back to Freddie, extending her hand, and he takes it this time. She expects him to let go once she pulls him up, but he doesn’t, so there they are, holding hands. They make a loop around the rink without either of them falling, and Auston laces their fingers together, raising their hands in a mock goal celebration. 

“Woo, we did it, baby!” Auston cheers, and Freddie rolls his eyes but he’s smiling so she knows he’s cool. “Why don’t we take a break, I’ll buy you some hot chocolate to celebrate this great accomplishment."

Freddie wrestles his hand away, only to immediately pull Auston’s hat down over her eyes, knowing how much she hates her hair being messed up, but she lets him, laughing all the way to the concession stand. 

—

Auston’s immediate family always spends Christmas Eve on their own, before hosting a much bigger party the next day attended by grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins galore. Auston always looks forward to seeing her relatives, but she’s glad there’s another day to wait, because she and Freddie have been doing okay so far at playing a couple, but she’s not entirely ready to take it to the next level in front of the whole family.

As is tradition, Ema immediately commandeers Auston to help her make tamales once soon they get back from downtown. To Auston’s surprise, Freddie volunteers as well, before her mom even gets a chance to give her usual spiel about how she can always use more hands. 

“Now my mom’s never gonna let us break up,” Auston jokes under her breath as they follow Ema into the kitchen.

Auston breathes in the smell of meat and spices, and is instantly reminded of how much she misses this during the season. There’s plenty of so-so Mexican places to eat at in Toronto, and across the country. but nothing will ever compare to her mom’s home-cooking.

Ema leads Freddie over, claiming she needs his stirring arm, and Alex and Auston help get the table set up to prepare the tamales.

“That sweater looks a little big on you,” Alex says knowingly, tugging at the shoulder of it.

“Yeah I got cold earlier, Freddie lent it to me,” Auston says, trying to sound casual. It’s getting hot in the kitchen and she should probably take it off at this point, but she doesn’t want to just yet.

“Wow, what a great boyfriend.” 

“Yeah, he’s a great _friend_ ,” Auston says, emphasizing the last word on purpose.

“So when did you guys get together anyway?” Alex asks, loud enough for both Freddie and Ema to hear over by the stove.

“It’s been…almost a year?” Auston says, acting like she needs a moment to think. In reality they first hooked up more than a year ago, but she figures she doesn’t need to make it sound like it’s that much of a long-term deal.

“Wow, I never would have guessed based on your Instagram,” Alex says. “You’re really keeping your shit on lockdown, huh.”

“Well you know, Freddie is a very private person,” Auston says, looking down at her hands.

“We didn’t want to say anything until we knew it was serious,” Freddie chimes in, and Ema looks appropriately impressed. Auston, well…impressed is one word for it, though it’s definitely not the first one to come to mind.

“Yeah, and we’re definitely not gonna be splashing it all over the internet anytime soon,” Auston says, plastering her best media smile on her face.

Auston manages to get through the rest of the conversation with relative ease, but apparently Freddie needs a reminder of the point of this whole thing, so she can’t let things like that slide. “You wanna tone it down a bit?” Auston murmurs under her breath a little bit later, once everyone gets started assembling the small mountain of tamales they need, some for tonight and even more for the party tomorrow. “We want to convince them just enough, there’s need to go too overboard.”

“Yeah, I’ll let you do the talking from now on,” Freddie says, laughing. “That won’t exactly be a hardship.”

—

This time, Auston prepared for what she’s walking into, so she can’t help but be a bit disappointed when she comes out ready for bed and sees Freddie is actually wearing a shirt. Not that it matters because Auston turning the lights off, and it’s probably better for both of them anyway, but what can she say, she’s shallow.

“Today was fun,” Freddie says as she gets into bed, “Thanks for inviting me.”

“Just wait until tomorrow before you say that,” Auston laughs, turning towards him as her eyes adjust to the dark. “I’m not sure you’re ready to be exposed to my whole family.”

“Well, I deal with you every day, how hard could it be?”

“ _Hey_ ,” Auston says, faux outraged, and hits him in the arm when Freddie cracks up.

“We got this,” Freddie says more seriously once he stops laughing. “Not to worry.” 

As Auston drifts off, she can’t help but smile to herself, she likes the sound of “we”.

—

Now that Auston and her sisters aren’t kids anymore, she’s not necessarily expecting to be woken up super early on Christmas morning, but it feels like she barely fell asleep by the time she’s being woken abruptly by Bre banging on her door.

Auston stirs at the sound, and when she opens her eyes, she’s startled to realize her face is inches from Freddie’s, so close all one of them would have to do is lean in and they’d be kissing. What makes it worse is that Freddie is already awake, watching her, so Auston doesn’t know what to do.

“Good morning,” Freddie says softly, before she can bolt out of bed.

“Oh, god, I’m so sorry,” Auston says, turning her face into her pillow to hide her blush. “I didn’t mean to invade your personal space like this, I’m just not used to sharing a bed with someone.”

“It’s fine, although I do think my arm’s asleep.” Freddie sounds amused, and Auston is finally awake enough to notice that his arm is trapped underneath her.

“Shit, sorry,” Auston says, and sits up. “It’s Christmas, though, come on!” She grabs Freddie’s hand, which he's been flexing to get feeling back in his fingers, and leads him downstairs.

“ _Finally_ ,” Bre says once they make their way to the living room.

“Yeah, yeah some of us aren’t still in high school and need rest though,” Auston says. 

The only space left for Auston and Freddie is on the couch, but they manage to squeeze in next to Alex. As they're sitting down, Auston realizes that they’re somehow they’re still holding hands, which is kind of nice. Part of her is disappointed when Freddie lets go, but then he stretches his arm out across her shoulders and she settles into his side, so easily it’s like they do it every day.

They steadily makes their way through the pile of presents under the tree, everyone taking turns. Auston tries to stay alert, since seeing people’s reactions to what she’s picked out is always her favorite thing about the gift-giving process, but having Freddie so close to her is distracting as fuck. 

Freddie’s wearing these clingy gray sweatpants that make his thighs look even thicker than usual, and his bedhead is out of control. His hair is getting longer than it’s ever been since Auston has known him, and it looks so curly and soft without product in it and all she wants to do is run her fingers through it. Between that and seeing him so comfortable in her house, around her family, it’s just…a lot to deal with so early in the morning.

“Oh, who’s this from?” Auston asks eventually, picking up a small box from her pile with no one’s name on the “from” label.

“What, you don’t recognize my handwriting?” Freddie asks next to her and…oh. Sure he’d brought presents for her family, but Auston didn’t want to just assume he’d get her something as well.

“Holy shit,” Auston says, as she opens up the box to find a necklace with a 34 pendant, set with blue and white stones.

“Wow, that’s gorgeous,” Ema says, leaning over to look at it, and Auston weirdly almost feels embarrassed. This is a _real_ gift, the kind of thing she’d expect someone to get for the person they’re actually dating, not their ex-whatever-turned-fake-girlfriend.

Once she recovers a bit, Auston jokes, “You shouldn’t have, now my present for you looks weak in comparison.”

“I’m sure I’ll love it,” Freddie says, smiling as Auston hands it over. 

Auston is nervous as he opens the box to find the deep purple sweater she bought for him, and can’t stop herself from babbling a bit. “I know you’re boring and unadventurous when it comes to clothes, but I saw thought this and I thought the color would look really great on you. But I mean, you can return it if you don’t like—“

“No, I love it,” Freddie says, grabbing one of the hands she’s waving around and squeezing it.

Once they’ve dispersed, Ema off to the kitchen to finish breakfast, and everyone else to parts unknown, Auston opens up the jewelry box again to look at her necklace, picking it up and admiring it in the light.

“Do you want some help putting it on?” Freddie asks, making Auston jump a bit, not realizing he was back already from getting coffee.

“I…sure,” Auston decides, lifting her hair up off the nape of her neck. “You really didn’t have to, you know,” she says next, feeling weird about drawing attention to the whole thing, but she can’t help herself. “You’re the one doing me a favor, I really didn’t expect you to get me a present, let alone anything this nice.” (And expensive, she adds in her mind.) 

“Please, I wanted to.” Freddie fastens the chain around her neck, fingers brushing the nape of it and she shivers at the touch.

“Well…thank you,” Auston says finally, looking down and touching the pendant where it’s resting on her chest.

“You know,” Freddie says a moment later as she turns back to face him, “I was thinking, when we get back to Toronto—”

Before he has a chance to finish whatever he was going to say though, Ema calls them for breakfast and Auston puts the whole thing out of her mind.

—

“Fuck,” Auston grunts, contorting her body to try and get the zipper on her dress up.

“You need some help?” Freddie asks from the other side of the bathroom door, and Auston can _hear_ the amusement in his voice, but, shit, men have no idea the things women go through for the sake of fashion. 

“No, I think I’ve almost—fuck, okay, fine,” Auston sighs after struggling for a few more seconds. “It’s unlocked.”

Freddie pushes the door open, only to stop dead in his tracks. 

“Relax, it’s not like you’ve never seen me naked before,” she laughs, looking up over her shoulder at Freddie. “I’m even wearing a bra today.”

“I…I can see that,” Freddie says, and Auston smirks to herself, watching his face pinken a bit in the mirror. She’s wearing a brand new red lace lingerie set, and this is the exact reaction she was hoping for, made better by the fact that Freddie hasn’t even seen the whole look.

After a moment of hesitation, Freddie holds one side of her dress steady as he pulls the zipper up, knuckles grazing her back along the way.

“There you go,” Freddie says, resting his hands on her shoulders and Auston can feel his touch even through the thick velvet of her dress. Part of her wants to shrug it off, another, bigger part of her wants him to move his hands lower down. 

“Help me put my shoes on as well?” Auston asks to distract herself, and she takes Freddie’s offered hand to keep her steady as she slides into her pumps. Even with Auston in heels, Freddie is still taller than her, something that she will never not be into, although it’s fun being so much closer to his eye level as well.

“You look beautiful,” Freddie says as Auston lets go of his hand and twirls in place, watching her dress billow out. 

Auston’s breath catches in her throat as she spins back around, suddenly inches from his face. They look each other in the eyes in a very loaded moment, after which Auston almost thinks Freddie’s gaze flickers down to her lips, but she figures she must be seeing things. Despite that, Auston still can’t help but start to lean in, although thankfully she snaps herself out of it before things turn embarrassing.

“I should probably let you get ready as well,” Auston says after leaning back, turning to gather her stuff up, glad she decided to do her hair and makeup before she got dressed. “I need my fake boyfriend to make me look good tonight.”

“Wow, now I know the real reason you invited me, huh?” Freddie says, playing at being insulted. 

“Yup, that’s it,” Auston says, trying and immediately failing to keep a straight face. “You’re just my arm-candy, you better get used to it,” she laughs, slapping Freddie on the ass as she leaves.

—

In no time at all, people start arriving at the house, and Auston gets caught up in greeting and catching up with all her relatives she’s lucky to see a few times a year. She's telling Alex a story about this time the team bus almost left Mitch behind when she feels an arm slip around her waist and startles.

“What? Oh,” Auston says, relaxing when she sees it’s just Freddie. “Wow, looking good,” she continues, giving Freddie a once-over. Auston sees him in a suit on a regular basis, but that doesn’t mean she’s immune to him dressing up. The dark green sweater Freddie has on is doing amazing things for his complexion and his shoulders and it’s just…a very good look.

“Glad to see I meet your oh-so-high standards,” Freddie jokes, giving her a kiss on the temple.

“Never doubted it. Though I’m kinda disappointed you shaved,” Auston admits, reaching up to touch his newly smooth jaw. She’s quickly gotten used to the relaxed facial hair rule this season and loves that Freddie is one of the people taking advantage of it. It’s been a struggle to see him like that every day and not be able to do anything about it, especially given she’s supposed to be mad at him. (And she is. was? Spending this time with him is making her reevaluate things.)

For the most part the evening passes in a blur, every time Auston turns around, there's another relative to introduce Freddie to, half of whom barely even speak English, which Auston is almost grateful for because it means they're spared having to regurgitate their “how we met/got together” story for the dozenth time.

That, along with the…healthy number of drinks Auston indulges in as the night progresses, is the only explanation for how she and Freddie end up under the sprig of mistletoe that she knows has been hanging in the exact spot the entire time they’ve been visiting.

Auston doesn’t even realize where they’re standing until someone points it out, and she face-palms in her mind. Although they’ve been lucky enough to avoid having to kiss so far, it would make sense that it finally happens in front of a whole bunch of people. She is about to try and beg off, sure Freddie would appreciate that, but instead, to her surprise, he takes a step closer, raising an eyebrow. And well, clearly that’s a challenge she has to accept, there’s no backing down now.

In heels, Auston barely has to make any effort to reach his lips, but still she hesitates, almost nervous as if they haven’t kissed before. Finally, she just does it, leans in and kisses him, a simple peck on the lips so they can just be done with it. Or well, that’s what she expects to happen, but before she can back off, Freddie reels her back in and really kisses her, with a lot more tongue than she expected for a family event from someone who claims to dislike PDA. Auston responds in kind, with none of the tentativeness she was expecting from either of them.

When he finally pulls away, Auston chases after his lips before the applause and glasses clinking remind her where they are, and she ducks into the empty kitchen for a moment to catch her breath.

“Well, that kiss sure was steamy,” Alex says, waggling her eyebrows as she comes in, clearly having made a beeline straight for Auston. “Are you sure you guys aren’t actually dating?”

“Yup,” Auston says, stealing Alex’s glass of wine and downing the rest of it in one go. “He’s made that perfectly clear, no matter how much I wish we were.”

“Hmm,” Alex says, looking contemplative.

“What?”

“Just…from where I’m standing, that kiss didn’t look one-sided at all.”

“Yeah well, what can I say,” Auston shrugs. “We’ve had lots of practice. It’s not like Freddie had anything against sleeping with me, it’s just the rest of it that he didn’t want.”

“If you say so,” Alex says sounding unsure, but Auston has already tuned her out, pouring herself another glass of wine and getting back to the party.

—

Although Auston managed to pace herself enough that she’s not _too_ hungover, she sleeps in late enough the next morning that Freddie is already out of bed when she wakes up. After a late breakfast, they decide to go to the movies, just the two of them, which makes Auston realize how much she’s really missed Freddie’s friendship the past few months. Like yeah she misses the sex as well, obviously, but they’ve been friends since way before they started sleeping together, and it’s just…nice getting to spend time with Freddie outside the rink, just hanging out.

“We should do this more when we get back to Toronto,” Freddie says on their way out of the theater, much to Auston’s surprise.

“Really? Yeah that would be great,” Auston replies, although she’s skeptical he’s gonna want to follow though.

As they’re making their way to the car, Auston gets a text from one of her Arizona friends about a house party he’s throwing tonight, and she’s excited. It’s been awhile since they’ve seen each other, and she’s ready for some fun.

—

They pull up to the house and the party already appears to be in full swing, although JT is there right at the door to give her a huge hug. He raises his eyebrows when he sees she brought Freddie with her, and right, they’ve never been introduced before.

“Freddie, this is my old friend JT, JT, this is Freddie, my—“

“Boyfriend,” Freddie cuts in, giving JT what looks to be a painfully strong handshake from the “help me” eyes he shoots her. 

Auston squints her eyes a bit at Freddie; she was just gonna say “teammate” but she’s interested in seeing what Freddie’s motivation is here, so she doesn’t dispute it. 

“So were you two like…a thing?” Freddie asks as they make their way to the drinks table.

 _Oh, so that’s why_. “Why, you jealous?” Auston asks nonchalantly, trying to hide a smirk.

“Just—no reason,” Freddie says, and okay, that’s how he’s gonna play it. 

Freddie may say he’s not jealous, but he definitely starts putting on much more of a show than he has the past few days, really trying to maintain their cover, even though there’s not much reason to around a group of mostly strangers.

“Want another drink?” Freddie asks later on, leaning into her ear with his hand unnecessarily low on her back (not that Auston is complaining).

“Sure Fred, you know what I like,” Auston answers with an easy grin.

So far Auston’s been letting Freddie set the pace, curious about how far he’s gonna take it, but two can play at this game, and while Freddie is pretty good at it, Auston’s an _expert_ , so when he comes back with her beer, she decides to up the ante. They make their way outside to the fire pit, and she lets him sit down on the couch first before settling onto his lap.

Auston soon gets caught up in a discussion with one of the girls who was already outside about the latest crazy happenings on Riverdale, and she’s so focused that she almost doesn’t notice Freddie’s hand creeping higher and higher up her leg until he reaches the bare skin of her thigh. There’s just a sliver of skin showing between the top of the boots she's wearing and the bottom of her skirt, and he’s stroking it almost absent-mindedly, and once Auston realizes what’s happening, she can’t focus on anything else. 

Auston wants to lean into his touch, and see how much further he’ll go on his own, but she’s knows he’s never gonna take it as far as she wants without a bit of…prodding, so if she maybe shifts around on his lap, rubbing her ass against his crotch, well—

“What are you doing?” Freddie hisses in her ear, placing both hands on her waist to keep her from moving.

“You started it,” Auston says with a wink, trying to wriggle out of his grip. She whispers, “Meet me in the upstairs bathroom in five,” into Freddie’s ear as she succeeds.

Auston waits, not nervously, she’s pretty sure she knows he’s gonna show up, but in anticipation. It’s been…god, all summer and fall since the last time they spelt together and she’s missed it. Of course it’s five minutes on the dot when Auston hears a quiet knock before Freddie comes in, locking the door behind him.

Neither of them say anything for a moment, then Auston just raises an eyebrow. Freddie advances towards her, crowding her against the counter, close enough that Auston really has to look up at him. Auston noses at his jaw then pulls Freddie down for a kiss. It’s soft at first, just a brush of their lips together, and to Auston’s surprise Freddie is once again the one who escalates it, licking his way into her mouth, threading his hand into the hair at the base of her neck and drawing her closer. 

When they pull apart, Freddie lays kisses along her neck and Auston gasps as he lifts her up onto the counter, shifting so his thighs slot between hers. She wants to pull him closer and grind down but she also wants more than just some heavy petting, and who knows how long they have, so she lets her legs spread wider and lifts up her skirt, showing off another new set of lingerie that she may have bought in anticipation of the possibility of this exact situation.

“Fuck,” Freddie says, rubbing his fingertips across the front of her panties, watching the fabric darken. “You’re so wet. Already?”

“Yeah, you know,” Auston says, shrugging, “I’m super easy for it.” For _you_ she adds in her head. Auston gasps when he slips his hand into her panties, pushing two thick fingers inside her with ease. “Besides, you’re…one to talk,” she manages to get out, trying to maintain her composure while hungrily eyeing the visible proof of Freddie’s arousal straining his jeans.

“C’mon, I wanna see you,” Auston says, reaching down to undo his fly. _“God_ ,” she breathes mostly to herself a moment later, licking her lips unconsciously as she watches Freddie’s cock bob between his legs. “I have uh, condoms in my bag,” Auston admits, jerking her chin towards to the clutch sitting next to her on the counter.

“A bit presumptuous don’t you think?” Freddie asks casually, crooking his fingers inside her and thumbing at Auston’s clit, making her squirm and grind down on him. 

“What can I say,” Auston says through a moan. “I like to be prepared.” She’s not drunk, she only had a couple of beers since she knows they’re gonna have to skate tomorrow, but she feels intoxicated already, giddy that this is happening.

Freddie raises an eyebrow when he discovers the long strip of condoms Auston stuck in there earlier in a fit of optimism, but doesn’t say anything. Auston takes them from him and opens one up, jacking his cock a few times before smoothing it on. He pulls his fingers out but Auston doesn’t get a chance to complain before he slips her panties to the side, guiding his cock through her wetness without pushing in. 

“What are you _waiting_ for?” Auston whines, trying to get him to move, but Freddie’s bulk has her pretty well-pinned to the counter. She’s completely at his mercy and that thought somehow gets her even more turned on. 

“Just a little bit of payback after that display earlier, I think,” Freddie says, not budging.

“Fuck, you’re the one who started it, touching me like that in public,” Auston says, pulling him closer. “What did you think would happen?” The head of his cock nudges her clit and Auston moans, trying to shift her hips enough to get it to happen again.

“Are you sure you want this?” Freddie asks a moment later, pulling away to look her in the eyes. 

The smirk on his face makes it obvious that he knows the answer, but Auston’s desperate enough that she’s not past begging. Or well, demanding is more like it: “Oh my god are you fucking kidding me? Just fuck me already.” 

Freddie doesn’t even wait until she finishes her sentence before he complies, Auston so wet that he’s able to sink all the way in on his very first try. As Freddie bottoms out, Auston gasps, clutching at his shoulders and biting down on his shirt to keep from making even more noise. She had plenty of decent sex this summer while trying to get over Freddie, but in an instant she’s reminded that nothing compares to getting what she actually wants.

Freddie pauses for a moment once he’s fully seated, tracing her jaw with a fingertip, tilting her face up towards him to make eye contact again. He tucks a strand of hair behind Auston’s ear and she blushes, not expecting the scrutiny. “You ready?” Freddie murmurs and she just nods in response, sliding her hands down to his hips, trying to get him to move. 

Auston moans as Freddie withdraws so far he almost pulls out, only to slam back in immediately. After a few more exploratory thrusts, Freddie starts fucking her steadily, hands on her hips so she doesn’t slide off the countertop.

As Freddie leans to nibble at her neck, Auston can feel his facial hair already starting to grow back, and it’s prickly, and she wants to feel it all over her body. She’s already so close though that all it takes is Freddie’s tongue curling against that one spot he knows she loves, and then she’s coming around him, arching her back as pleasure courses through her body.

“You—” Freddie breathes out as he stops to watch, tip of his cock resting against her. “God, you’re so gorgeous.”

“Fuck, keep going,” Auston demands, clenching around nothing. Freddie doesn’t listen though, just smiles and leans in to kiss her through the aftershocks. Auston kisses back for a moment and she almost says something about how much she’s missed him before she realizes she has to regain control of the situation and gets an idea. 

“C’mon,” Auston says, pushing Freddie away so she can turn around, hiking her skirt up over her ass. “Yeah, like…like that,” she gasps as he pulls her panties down and starts thrusting into her again.

“God I love your ass,” Freddie murmurs behind her as he moves his hands down, groping her casually. Auston preens, tilting her hips up to show off even more. That also means Freddie can get deeper, and when Auston looks up into the mirror, almost accidentally, she can’t take her eyes off of the two of them.

They’re still mostly clothed, and the straight-on angle means what she’s seeing isn’t even _that_ titillating, but this position really emphasizes how much bigger Freddie is than her in every sense of the word. He already feels huge inside her, pulling her back onto his cock with every thrust, but being able to see Freddie draped across her back, his arms boxing her in, she honest to god wants to come again already. 

Bracing herself on one elbow, Auston snakes her hand down between her legs and strokes at her clit, fingers brushing against Freddie’s cock where he’s fucking into her. 

Freddie moves his hands roughly up Auston’s sides, groping her tits, and Auston pushes into it. He pinches her nipples through the fabric of her shirt and Auston bites her lip to keep from crying out. Looking down, Auston watches the necklace Freddie gave her swing back and forth with every thrust and she smiles to herself.

 

“More,” Auston moans, and Freddie obliges, returning both hands to her hips, gripping so tightly she hopes he leaves bruises 

Freddie kisses his way down down Auston’s neck, the soft caresses a delicious contrast to how hard he’s fucking her, and when he sinks his teeth into the hinge of her jaw, she comes again, every nerve ending in her body on fire as she writhes underneath him. Freddie fucks her through it and Auston rubs herself halfway to another orgasm as Freddie speeds up even more, grinding his hips into her, and soon he’s coming as well, panting against her neck. 

Freddie lets his chin fall down onto her shoulder, tension gone from his body in an instant, and Auston huffs out a laugh. “So that happened.”

“It sure did,” Freddie says, pulling out as she’s recovering. “I should probably y’know, get back out there.”

“Yeah I’ll be right behind you,” Auston says, watching him go in the mirror. She cleans up quickly, touching up her lipstick and adjusting her clothes. Auston doesn’t look too disheveled, her hair would’ve been the biggest giveaway, but she finds a ponytail holder in her bag and pulls it back. She laughs to herself again because god, this is not at all how she thought this trip would go, but she’s not complaining.

On her way back down, Auston texts Willie “😏💦🍆” because she knows he’ll be interested in this development. She immediately gets an exclamation mark laden text back and Auston laughs, promising to give him the details tomorrow. 

“Here,” Freddie says when she gets back, handing her a plate, “I got you some food, I thought you might be hungry.”

“Thanks, baby,” Auston says, flashing him a grin. “I really worked up an appetite earlier.”

“You always do,” Freddie smirks and Auston immediately flashes back to the first time they slept together, when they ate a whole pizza in bed together afterwards. She had been a little worried about how Freddie was gonna act around her now but he seems relatively chill so she’s just gonna roll with it.

“You good?” Freddie asks, and Auston just nods and smiles, can’t stop smiling the whole rest of the night in fact.

—

Auston and Freddie fly out to Columbus early the next morning, so they don’t have time to talk about what happened, but honestly she's kind of grateful for that. It is what it is, it was a great way to end the trip, but she’s ready to get back to reality.

Since everyone is arriving from different places, Auston doesn’t see Willie until practice that afternoon, where she’s greeted by lots of cheers and applause because what, she was named an All-Star Captain? Everyone is super excited for her: Willie, obviously, and Mo and Patty both say really nice things to the media, but of course the person whose reaction she most wants is Freddie’s. He’s nowhere to be found though and she doesn’t want to push it, so she plasters herself to Willie’s side for the rest of the day.

The Leafs sail to a mostly easy win the next night, but by the time their red-eye gets back to Toronto, all Auston wants to do is go home and sleep. She’s been away from her own bed for far too long.

“You want a ride home?” Freddie asks once their bags come out, but Auston turns him down.

“Nah, Willie’s got me, yeah?” Willie looks surprised, but agrees, and Auston turns away before she can see Freddie’s reaction.

“Okay then, see you tomorrow,” Freddie says, and Auston just nods, leading Willie away.

“What was that about?” Willie asks as soon as they’re out of earshot. “I thought you’d be jumping on every kind of opportunity like that, especially given what happened.”

“It’s just been a crazy few days,” Auston explains as they get to her car. “I need to readjust my expectations and get our relationship back to normal as quickly as possible.” For both her own sake and his, because Auston wants to at least try and maintain their newly rekindled friendship and that means some much needed space.

Willie drops Auston off at home, and she’s asleep as soon as her head hits the pillow, head free of all thoughts, ones involving Freddie and not.

Unfortunately the way their game the next night against the Islanders turns out, well…the less said about that mess the better, Auston is just glad to have four days off afterwards.

—

With the way their schedule worked out, the Leafs don’t have a New Year’s Eve or Day game, which means they’re able to actually have a party for the first time since Auston has been on the team. She’s enjoying herself well enough, but as it gets close to midnight, she makes an excuse about needing some fresh air and slips away, going out onto the balcony of the hotel rooftop they’re at.

“Hey, I was looking for you,” Freddie says from behind her after what could be five or twenty minutes.

“Here I am,” Auston says, not turning to look at him.

“You’re the one who’s always cold, what are you doing out here?” Freddie asks, coming up behind her.

“Eh, I just needed a break.” She loves her teammates but Auston just doesn’t really feel like being surrounded by a bunch of happy couples at midnight. Turning her head to look at him, she asks, “Why were you looking for me anyway?”

“Oh,” Freddie says, and it’s pretty dark, but Auston could swear he’s blushing. “I missed you.”

“What?” Auston asks, skeptical. “We’ve basically been living out of each other’s pockets for a week straight, I would’ve thought you’d be glad to finally get a bit of space.”

“No, it was fun, I had a great time,” Freddie says with a smile.

“It’s just, I know my family can be a bit much,” Auston says. “You’re lucky you couldn’t understand when my grandma started talking about babies.”

Auston laughs at the look that flashes across Freddie’s face but he recovers quickly. “I like you, of course I like them,” Freddie says, sounding earnest. Auston doesn’t know how to respond to that, but before she can, he continues. “So, we never really had a chance to talk about what happened.”

“No offense but I’m not really in the mood for another ‘it’s not you it’s me’ speech,” Auston says, looking back towards the skyline to avoid his eyes. “I already know how it turns out, spare me.”

“No, that’s not what I…” Freddie trails off, sounding hesitant.

“What?” Auston says, maybe a bit harshly, but she doesn’t have the energy to try and read Freddie’s mind tonight.

“Can I kiss you?” Freddie asks after a moment, sounding determined.

“What?” Auston asks again, bewildered this time, and she can’t stop herself from turning back to look at Freddie.

“I said—“

“No, I heard what you said, but like, why?” 

“What do you mean why? You were just as into what happened at that party as I was.”

“Yeah, but that was just sex? I mean, great sex admittedly, that was never our problem, but you should know better than anyone that it doesn’t have to mean anything more than that.”

“Well…point taken,” Freddie says, stung. “But what if I _wanted_ it to mean something?”

“And I’m supposed to just believe that? What about the media, our teammates, all the bullshit excuses you came up with at the time?” Auston would love to believe that Freddie somehow changed his mind and wants to be with her now, but it’s just unrealistic.

“I still don’t think they’re completely bullshit,” Freddie admits. “Those are things we have to keep in mind, but I’m willing to try if you are. I’ve been wanting to bring the idea up for a few days, but we kept getting interrupted, and well, having sex without talking first wasn't part of the plan but you were there, looking so gorgeous and offering it, how could I resist?”

Freddie shrugs as he finishes and Auston laughs. “I mean, you and me both, baby, that should’ve been pretty obvious. Do you mean it though?” she asks a moment later, turning serious. “Because like, I can’t lie, obviously this is something I’ve wanted for…longer than I can even remember honestly, but what you did last summer kind of fucked me up,” Auston says frankly. “So if something like that is gonna happen again I’d rather just stay friends, I’ll get over you eventually somehow.”

Freddie steps closer, and Auston lets out a noise as he pulls her towards him, tilting her face up to look into her eyes. “I love you,” he says, “And I’m all in.”

In an instant, Auston feels like she’s gonna cry and also happier than she’s ever been. Without even thinking, she leans up and kisses Freddie, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I love you too, obviously,” she says, laughing though the tears in her eyes when she finally pulls away. Auston gazes up at Freddie who looks just as happy as she feels and she’s so full of love it almost helps her forget what a dumb idea it was to come outside without a hat and gloves on when it’s below freezing and snowing in Toronto.

“Wow, your hands are cold,” Freddie says, stating the obvious as he takes hold of them, bringing them up to his chest.

“I bet I can come up with a way to warm them up,” Auston says, winking at him, and she leads Freddie back inside right as the clock hits 11:59.

By the time the countdown to midnight is over, Auston has managed to weave her way through a crowd of various drunk teammates and pull Freddie into the empty coatroom down the hall, holding his hand the whole way.

And well, a week ago Auston didn’t _expect_ to be celebrating the new year with her hand down Freddie’s pants, and it’s not like things are completely resolved, they still have to talk more, and fuck, Alex is gonna give her the biggest “I told you so” ever, but in this moment, as Freddie unbuttons her pants, she’s so grateful and in love and she can’t think of any place she’d rather be.

**Author's Note:**

> In case y'all were wondering, [this](https://www.instagram.com/p/BheoQABHsXd/) is the aforementioned sweater, because yes it's real and it's amazing.
> 
> My twitter is [onlyoneloislane](https://twitter.com/onlyoneloislane/) so y'all feel free to hit me up any time if you want to talk Auston/Freddie! Or just hockey in general. (I also have a [tumblr](http://deepbutdazzlingdarkness.tumblr.com) though I'm not as active on there now)


End file.
